Both boys??

A, Mom of M, 10, N, 8

When M was born, he weighed 10lbs. 6ozs. I thought he was the ugliest baby I have ever seen. It took two Doctors and Two Nurses to bring him into this world. He as so huge, put him beside a normal sized baby oh my, gigantic. He looked like a two month old. Any way I loved my mini giant. We thought he was also the most miserable baby, cried for nothing and when he started could not, would not stop. Anyway life continued with my now six year old and my mini giant, M. Eight months later, I was pregnant. Now I look & feel like crap, looking after a six year old and my mini giant. Getting more tired.

Nine months later the most beautiful, angel was born, N, he was gorgeous at 8lbs. 8ozs. He was perfect. No problems, he hardly cried, he was just my angel, and the name stuck. They both went through the normal stages, teething, playing, smiling, we were a happy family.  M continued to be a pain. He was the most horrible terrible two year old.  My now 8 year old and my angel, were perfect, just a joy. Then one day. M had his first temper tantrum, never seen anything like it, he started to become withdrawn, no more saying Mommy, no more looking at me, strange I thought. But life went on for a few months, then I really got concerned, took him to the Doctor, Two Pediatrician, one a Developmental Pediatrician. Did some tests and at 3 years old the dreaded diagnosis of……..Autism. ‘I screamed, and cried No way!!!!’ ‘The Doctor said I am sorry’. While in the Doctor’s office feeling like I was hit in the face. I causally said to him, my two year old (my angel) rocks back and forth.  Doctor replied, ‘Oh, Oh, better get him in here’.

Two months later I took N in to the Doctor. Here it comes….. ‘So sorry, he too has Autism’. ‘I said no, no Doc, he looks me in the eyes, smiles at me, plays with me, no, no. I wailed, not my angel too’. I left the Doctor’s office a confused and depressed woman. My husband was beside himself.  My whole family was in shock. I remained in shock for one and half years, did not sleep for one and half years.  Life was hell.  My husband and I cried together. Then we stopped. We accepted it. Love them for who they are.

I started to read everything on Autism. I got help from different agencies. I employed a worker to help me out. It helped. But not enough, so while they were on several wait lists for treatments. I went to seminars, tried to meet other parents with kids like mine. Then I came to the realization.  I’m good at this. I could calm them when they got agitated, anxious, strange behaviors etc. My nemesis, I cannot for the life of me potty train them.  M (now 10 years old), almost there, pee no problem, Poo? Oh boy :-{   N (now 8 years old), still wears a diaper. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!